Incorrect DLZS 2
Jadi ceritanya ini copy paste incorrect quotes yang dari berbagai tempat (paling banyak tumblr haha), lalu namanya diganti sama tokoh Dragon Warrior 2. Mungkin nanti aku bikin yang versi DLZS 1. Oh iya, ini Bahasa Inggris! Under the cut!
Xiaoyi: I have a date, too.
Kaifo: Who is it? What’s her name?
Xiaoyi: Her name is not important.
Xiaoyi: What’s important is, she’s better than you…
Xiaoyi: In every conceivable way.
Kaifo: Damn Xiaoyi, that could be anybody!
Tianhua: When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?
Bainuo: To have parents.
Tianhua: Whatever, the correct answer is, to be a warrior!
Dongfang: I’m going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?
Kaifo: I’ll have a latte.
Xiaoyi: I’ll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf.
Tianhua: I’ll have a bagel with a little…
Dongfang: You all know I was just being polite.
Ziyao: Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?
Bainuo: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.
Tianhua: SMAD
Kaifo: They say that 1 in 6 guys in a group of friends is gay.
Kaifo: I hope it’s Xiaoyi, he’s the cute one.
Tianhua: Go on Ziyao, say fuck
Ziyao: Duck!
Everyone: Surprise!
Xiaoyi: Oh my God!
Kaifo: That’s what you wanted right? Everyone in the same room, at the same time?
Xiaoyi: I can’t believe you. I don’t think I could be happier!
Tianhua: Wanna bet?
Bainuo: Hi!
Xiaoyi: OH BAINUO'S HERE
Bainuo: Pass the salt.
Tianhua: [throws Dongfang across the table]
Bainuo: How do people stay motivated their entire lives? What drives you?
Bainuo: I got out once and I’ve been exhausted ever since.
Shaman: You need to learn to hate life to the point where you want to get revenge on existence itself.
Ziyao: I’m sick of being such a big loser.
Dongfang: Ziyao – you’re not big.
Lung: I’m going to the store, do you want anything?
Shaman: I want my will to live back.
Lung: Yeah i got like 12 dollars.
Xiaoyi: Feels like Tuesday.
Tianhua: Tuesday has no feel.
Xiaoyi: Monday has a feel.
Tianhua: Friday has a feel. Sunday has a feel.
Xiaoyi: I feel Tuesday and Wednesday.
Dongfang: Shut up, the both of you.
Tianhua: /puts a record on and starts dancing/ This is Lan Tianhua reminding *you* that disco will never die!
Kaifo: /puts hands over Shaman's eyes/ Guess who!
Shaman: It’s either Kaifo, or the cold clammy hands of death.
Kaifo: It’s me!
Shaman: Damn it.
Tianhua: In this game, you can beat up a skeleton and steal their arms to use as weapons
Dongfang: You can do it in real life too.
Shaman: So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4000 degrees for 1 minute.
Tianhua: Shaman, no!
Tianhua: Piece of cake.
Bainuo: You thought that was easy?
Tianhua: No, I want a piece of cake.
Tianhua [to everyone]: Don’t forget, tomorrow’s garbage day!
Dongfang: I can’t believe we have a whole day dedicated to you.
Lung: I’m a confident driver.
Guha: You nearly ran someone over.
Lung: Confidently.
Tianhua: Don’t break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Dongfang: Yeah. Break their bones, they have 206 of those.
Evil!Kaifo: Google, how do I defeat Xiaoyi?
Google: The best revenge is letting go and living well
Evil!Kaifo: … Bing, how do I—
Xiaoyi: [sneezes]
Bainuo: Remember January 14th 1826
Bainuo: When i told you to bring a jacket?
Kaifo: There are three chairs less than there are people. What do you do?
Ziyao: Have everyone stand
Bainuo: Those who came first can sit down
Tianhua: Bring three more chairs
Shaman: kill three
Tianhua: Hey Xiaoyi, are you free on Friday?
Tianhua: Like, around 8 pm
Xiaoyi: Yes?
Tianhua: What about you, Bainuo?
Bainuo: Yes, I am.
Tianhua: Great! because I’m not.
Tianhua: You two go on without me.
Tianhua: Enjoy your date, thank me later!
Shaman: I was probably put on this earth to do something.
Shaman: Lucky i forgot what it was, so I can do whatever I want!
Ziyao: Fist me.
Kaifo: Wait, wha—
Ziyao: [holds his fist up for a fist bump]
Kaifo: Oh, thank God.
Dongfang: Am I in trouble?
Huo Jing Shi: Have a guess.
Dongfang: No?
Huo Jing Shi: Have another guess.
Tianhua: What’s your favorite color?
Xiaoyi: Bainuo
Xiaoyi: Wait, what was the question?
Kaifo: I’m having brunch with Xiaoyi who I am, indeed, in love with.
Ziyao: Isn’t he straight?
Kaifo: He is, he’s so deeply straight and I’m so deeply in love with him.
"I don’t need gasoline to start a fire! All I need are two hands and a lack of adult supervision!"
--Xiaoyi
Bainuo: Have you no shame?
Dongfang: You're right, I feel terrible.
Bainuo: Really?
Dongfang: Nope!
Kaifo: Don't you want to be a team player?
Shaman: No.
Kaifo: Don't you want to appear to be a team player?
Shaman: Sure.
Xiaoyi: Are you okay?
Bainuo: I'm going to start charging people money to ask me that.
Shaman: See this? This is my "I don't care" face.
Kaifo: That's your normal face.
Dongfang: If you have any questions, just ask.
Ziyao: If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?
Dongfang: If you've got any relevant questions, just ask.
Xiaoyi: You use sarcasm to distance people.
Dongfang: And yet you're still here.
Tianhua: Must you always attack me with words?
Dongfang: Do you want me to use rocks?
Xiaoyi: If I die before you and you have to write my eulogy, compare me to a chicken piccata.
Kaifo: Done.
Xiaoyi: I'm quick at math.
Bainuo: Okay, what's 38 times 76?
Xiaoyi: 24.
Bainuo: That's not even close.
Xiaoyi: But it was quick.
Kaifo: You were happy once, Shaman.
Shaman: I was never happy. I was just less pissed off.
Tianhua: Don't you miss the vivid imagination of childhood?
Bainuo: I didn't have one.
Tianhua: An imagination or a childhood?
Ziyao: You remind me of the ocean.
Dongfang: Why the ocean?
Ziyao: Because you're salty and you scare people.
Xiaoyi: I have a date, too.
Kaifo: Who is it? What’s her name?
Xiaoyi: Her name is not important.
Xiaoyi: What’s important is, she’s better than you…
Xiaoyi: In every conceivable way.
Kaifo: Damn Xiaoyi, that could be anybody!
Tianhua: When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?
Bainuo: To have parents.
Tianhua: Whatever, the correct answer is, to be a warrior!
Dongfang: I’m going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?
Kaifo: I’ll have a latte.
Xiaoyi: I’ll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf.
Tianhua: I’ll have a bagel with a little…
Dongfang: You all know I was just being polite.
Ziyao: Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?
Bainuo: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.
Tianhua: SMAD
Kaifo: They say that 1 in 6 guys in a group of friends is gay.
Kaifo: I hope it’s Xiaoyi, he’s the cute one.
Tianhua: Go on Ziyao, say fuck
Ziyao: Duck!
Everyone: Surprise!
Xiaoyi: Oh my God!
Kaifo: That’s what you wanted right? Everyone in the same room, at the same time?
Xiaoyi: I can’t believe you. I don’t think I could be happier!
Tianhua: Wanna bet?
Bainuo: Hi!
Xiaoyi: OH BAINUO'S HERE
Bainuo: Pass the salt.
Tianhua: [throws Dongfang across the table]
Bainuo: How do people stay motivated their entire lives? What drives you?
Bainuo: I got out once and I’ve been exhausted ever since.
Shaman: You need to learn to hate life to the point where you want to get revenge on existence itself.
Ziyao: I’m sick of being such a big loser.
Dongfang: Ziyao – you’re not big.
Lung: I’m going to the store, do you want anything?
Shaman: I want my will to live back.
Lung: Yeah i got like 12 dollars.
Xiaoyi: Feels like Tuesday.
Tianhua: Tuesday has no feel.
Xiaoyi: Monday has a feel.
Tianhua: Friday has a feel. Sunday has a feel.
Xiaoyi: I feel Tuesday and Wednesday.
Dongfang: Shut up, the both of you.
Tianhua: /puts a record on and starts dancing/ This is Lan Tianhua reminding *you* that disco will never die!
Kaifo: /puts hands over Shaman's eyes/ Guess who!
Shaman: It’s either Kaifo, or the cold clammy hands of death.
Kaifo: It’s me!
Shaman: Damn it.
Tianhua: In this game, you can beat up a skeleton and steal their arms to use as weapons
Dongfang: You can do it in real life too.
Shaman: So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4000 degrees for 1 minute.
Tianhua: Shaman, no!
Tianhua: Piece of cake.
Bainuo: You thought that was easy?
Tianhua: No, I want a piece of cake.
Tianhua [to everyone]: Don’t forget, tomorrow’s garbage day!
Dongfang: I can’t believe we have a whole day dedicated to you.
Lung: I’m a confident driver.
Guha: You nearly ran someone over.
Lung: Confidently.
Tianhua: Don’t break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Dongfang: Yeah. Break their bones, they have 206 of those.
Evil!Kaifo: Google, how do I defeat Xiaoyi?
Google: The best revenge is letting go and living well
Evil!Kaifo: … Bing, how do I—
Xiaoyi: [sneezes]
Bainuo: Remember January 14th 1826
Bainuo: When i told you to bring a jacket?
Kaifo: There are three chairs less than there are people. What do you do?
Ziyao: Have everyone stand
Bainuo: Those who came first can sit down
Tianhua: Bring three more chairs
Shaman: kill three
Tianhua: Hey Xiaoyi, are you free on Friday?
Tianhua: Like, around 8 pm
Xiaoyi: Yes?
Tianhua: What about you, Bainuo?
Bainuo: Yes, I am.
Tianhua: Great! because I’m not.
Tianhua: You two go on without me.
Tianhua: Enjoy your date, thank me later!
Shaman: I was probably put on this earth to do something.
Shaman: Lucky i forgot what it was, so I can do whatever I want!
Ziyao: Fist me.
Kaifo: Wait, wha—
Ziyao: [holds his fist up for a fist bump]
Kaifo: Oh, thank God.
Dongfang: Am I in trouble?
Huo Jing Shi: Have a guess.
Dongfang: No?
Huo Jing Shi: Have another guess.
Tianhua: What’s your favorite color?
Xiaoyi: Bainuo
Xiaoyi: Wait, what was the question?
Kaifo: I’m having brunch with Xiaoyi who I am, indeed, in love with.
Ziyao: Isn’t he straight?
Kaifo: He is, he’s so deeply straight and I’m so deeply in love with him.
"I don’t need gasoline to start a fire! All I need are two hands and a lack of adult supervision!"
--Xiaoyi
Bainuo: Have you no shame?
Dongfang: You're right, I feel terrible.
Bainuo: Really?
Dongfang: Nope!
Kaifo: Don't you want to be a team player?
Shaman: No.
Kaifo: Don't you want to appear to be a team player?
Shaman: Sure.
Xiaoyi: Are you okay?
Bainuo: I'm going to start charging people money to ask me that.
Shaman: See this? This is my "I don't care" face.
Kaifo: That's your normal face.
Dongfang: If you have any questions, just ask.
Ziyao: If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?
Dongfang: If you've got any relevant questions, just ask.
Xiaoyi: You use sarcasm to distance people.
Dongfang: And yet you're still here.
Tianhua: Must you always attack me with words?
Dongfang: Do you want me to use rocks?
Xiaoyi: If I die before you and you have to write my eulogy, compare me to a chicken piccata.
Kaifo: Done.
Xiaoyi: I'm quick at math.
Bainuo: Okay, what's 38 times 76?
Xiaoyi: 24.
Bainuo: That's not even close.
Xiaoyi: But it was quick.
Kaifo: You were happy once, Shaman.
Shaman: I was never happy. I was just less pissed off.
Tianhua: Don't you miss the vivid imagination of childhood?
Bainuo: I didn't have one.
Tianhua: An imagination or a childhood?
Ziyao: You remind me of the ocean.
Dongfang: Why the ocean?
Ziyao: Because you're salty and you scare people.
Shaman: Why are you squeezing me with your body?
Kaifo: It's a hug! I'm hugging you!
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