An Essay About Why I Relate To Kaifeng So Much
More of a rant I don't know where to post. It contains spoilers, if you haven't watched until at least episode 40. You don't have to read this but once you do, read it to the end before you judge me.
First, according to certain theories, my element is water. Some quotev quizzes also says that I'm water. I'm an earth sign, though. Hmm.
Second, Hanshan xingmen is the symbol of kindness and a soft heart. Funny because my middle name actually means soft-hearted. And I'm very kind, you guys really don't deserve me. I'm the kindest person I've ever known. Haha, just kidding! But some people do call me kind.
If I'm in that universe, I'd probably be born as a Hanshan xingmen child. Despite my happy-go-lucky and sometimes cocky personality. I'm a weird combination of Kaifeng, Tianhua, and Dongfang.
Third, I have that friend I'm really gay for. Not really gay actually... more of a bromance. My heartbeat doesn't pace up when I'm near her, but I have this feeling that I need to constantly be there for her. I have to protect her even when she doesn't need it. I have to help her even though she can do the job for herself. I support her in everything she does. I would gladly be her right hand when she leads (she's the best leader in our school, btw). I defend everytime I heard someone talking bad about her. All of it while trying to supress my jealousy. Even if she's in danger, I can see me doing that self-sacrifice for her. Big Kaiyi energy, isn't it.
The different part is, mostly I'm better than her in academics. I'm like the Xiaoyi with Kaifeng's feelings. She's good in the field I'm actually interested in, though. We're jealous of each other. She wants my ability, and I want hers. God damn humans are never satisfied with themselves.
Back to my feelings, I'm not sure if I'm actually gay or not. I often identify myself as pan, but honestly I'm not so sure. She's the only girl that attracts me. And it's probably not romantic. Just a platonic one that went WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY too far. I don't know. But if this world really is a simulation and has its own fandom, I can see many people ship us together. Even some of our friends already ships us hahaha. I'm very glad of that. I ship myself with her too whoops.
Just like Kaifeng and Xiaoyi. Does Kaifeng even know if his affection towards Xiaoyi is romantic or platonic? We'll never know. But Kaifeng has met the girl that helped him realize. AND THERE I DECLARE IT, KAIFENG IS BISEXUAL!!
But Xiaoyi is straight. I can see his feelings towards Kaifeng is full platonic.
Maybe I just haven't met my Shaman. Maybe sometime in the future, I will be able to move on from my Xiaoyi. Or I could be gay. I don't really care.
First, according to certain theories, my element is water. Some quotev quizzes also says that I'm water. I'm an earth sign, though. Hmm.
Second, Hanshan xingmen is the symbol of kindness and a soft heart. Funny because my middle name actually means soft-hearted. And I'm very kind, you guys really don't deserve me. I'm the kindest person I've ever known. Haha, just kidding! But some people do call me kind.
If I'm in that universe, I'd probably be born as a Hanshan xingmen child. Despite my happy-go-lucky and sometimes cocky personality. I'm a weird combination of Kaifeng, Tianhua, and Dongfang.
Third, I have that friend I'm really gay for. Not really gay actually... more of a bromance. My heartbeat doesn't pace up when I'm near her, but I have this feeling that I need to constantly be there for her. I have to protect her even when she doesn't need it. I have to help her even though she can do the job for herself. I support her in everything she does. I would gladly be her right hand when she leads (she's the best leader in our school, btw). I defend everytime I heard someone talking bad about her. All of it while trying to supress my jealousy. Even if she's in danger, I can see me doing that self-sacrifice for her. Big Kaiyi energy, isn't it.
The different part is, mostly I'm better than her in academics. I'm like the Xiaoyi with Kaifeng's feelings. She's good in the field I'm actually interested in, though. We're jealous of each other. She wants my ability, and I want hers. God damn humans are never satisfied with themselves.
Back to my feelings, I'm not sure if I'm actually gay or not. I often identify myself as pan, but honestly I'm not so sure. She's the only girl that attracts me. And it's probably not romantic. Just a platonic one that went WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY too far. I don't know. But if this world really is a simulation and has its own fandom, I can see many people ship us together. Even some of our friends already ships us hahaha. I'm very glad of that. I ship myself with her too whoops.
Just like Kaifeng and Xiaoyi. Does Kaifeng even know if his affection towards Xiaoyi is romantic or platonic? We'll never know. But Kaifeng has met the girl that helped him realize. AND THERE I DECLARE IT, KAIFENG IS BISEXUAL!!
But Xiaoyi is straight. I can see his feelings towards Kaifeng is full platonic.
Maybe I just haven't met my Shaman. Maybe sometime in the future, I will be able to move on from my Xiaoyi. Or I could be gay. I don't really care.
Komentar
Posting Komentar